Tag Archives: personal development

We gather strength as we go

Having a conversation with my daughter about how she and her friends treat one another can be such a challenge. Middle school girls are almost impossible to deal with. Typically involves crying and me taking a lot of deep breaths before I speak and offer any kind of wisdom 

High school and mean girls was my living hell. What I know know is that none of it mattered except how those interactions formed my personal level of confidence and self worth. 

My mom worked a ton and my Dad was away for work a great deal. So I floundered and made grave mistakes. 

Today I try to express to my kids this when they are facing mean girls or overly competitive boys talking smack: “transform fear into prudence , pain into transformation, mistakes into initiation, and desire into undertaking.” Nassim NTaleb

These are things we practice all our lives and may never achieve perfection. We can certainly become better people than we are currently. That’s all I want my daughter to know as she goes back to the lunch table and faces off with snarky comments. I told her to not back down and don’t lash out. Stay positive and smile. Stoics had a great idea. We all need to practice the philosophy more and be kind to one another. 

Single most important reason to hustle: You’re going to die. Single most important question to ask yourself. What will be your legacy?

Yep. We’re all gonna die. Life is too short. Seems like forever when you’re a kid. Then after 30 life seems to scream by. 

Throw kids in the mix and you feel like you barely have time to breath. 

Your legacy doesn’t have to be a Golden Gate Bridge or a speech to end slavery. Your legacy can simply be raising children who care for others, creating a community program for seniors who share your passion, or building something cool at work that makes life easier for others. 

Give yourself credit for what you have created. Then HUSTLE and create more. Build a legacy with depth and breadth. 

Success is an Attitude

Success : This is an attitude, I have succeeded in everything I have undertaken. I visualize, I plan, and make it happen. It may not always end up how I first see it, but I have learned to let things evolve and become what they want to be. If I foster an idea and put forth the effort , find resources, plan and adjust, refine, my ventures always come to fruition. I take the same positive attitude when I am ready to ramp a certain aspect up of an existing project. I am sure I have some peter out or completely implode, but I choose to not give them the energy they certainly don’t deserve. On to bigger and better things. Learn what you can from it and move on, never giving up. I remember hearing that Henry Ford filed for bankruptcy just before his great Model T came to fruition.

Tackle your future now…

Growth or Fixed:Your Mind Not Your Mortgage

The reality in our world today is that more and more people are earning college educations. They attend colleges and universities and earn a 2 year or 4 year degree. What makes it more accessible is the internet, you now have the option to stay home and earn those degrees or add to the list of degrees you have. Based on a report by the National Center for Education Statistics “Between 1995 and 2015, educational attainment rates among 25- to 29-year-olds increased. The percentage who had received at least a high school diploma or its equivalent increased from 87 to 91 percent, with most of the change occurring between 2005 and 2015. The percentage who had completed an associate’s or higher degree increased from 33 percent in 1995 to 46 percent in 2015. Similarly, the percentage who had completed a bachelor’s or higher degree increased from 25 percent in 1995 to 36 percent in 2015, and the percentage who had completed a master’s or higher degree increased from 5 percent in 1995 to 9 percent in 2015. ” (https://nces.ed.gov/)

I love this, my parents think I’m an education snob. That is their interpretation. My view is that the more people we have aligned with the mindset to continue to grow and learn, we as a human race will continue to evolve, hopefully making the world a better place for everyone.

This book was spot on, totally resonating with how I try to approach every situation. Not always perfect at it, but its a stepping back thought process to evaluate and redirect if necessary to accomplish greater things.

Dweck compares 2 different mindsets, fixed and growth. These are paradigms from which we work, make decisions in our life, build relationships, etc. In the fixed mindset is the belief the your intelligence is static. How ever smart you are right now is how smart you will always be. If you have an innate talent, you do well at something. If you do not have that innate talent, you will not do well at it, therefore wont try or find outside excuses for failure. You will avoid challenges, get defensive and easily give up, see effort as fruitless, ignore negative feedback and typically feel threatened by the success of other. Dweck explains that “as  a result, (fixed mindset) people may plateau early and achieve less than their full potential.”

The growth mindset holds that intelligence can be developed. There is a “desire to learn and therefore embrace challenges, persist in the face of setbacks, see effort as the path to mastery, learn form criticism and find inspiration in the success of others leading to higher and higher levels of achievement.”

As a creative this is all a no brainer for me. Working in interior design all we do as designers is come up with solutions to problems. we use what we have and do all we can to move forward all the while trying to make space great on a budget. As a residential building designer working with home owners, contractors, engineers who may not all be as attuned to the growth mindset. I see it all day long, how easily people get stuck within in  their self imposed constraints. I have to ask at least five times a day of everyone, “what if anything were possible.” It is more or less my job to “make it pretty” and then work with GC’s, Subcontractors, vendors, artisans all to make my vision a reality. All typically under a unrealistically low budget. I want to buy all these guys this book Monday morning.

One of the biggest take aways from this book is the idea that failure is not an ultimate end, it is a step in the learning process. Though it can be hard to swallow in the midst of defeat (I am currently in the middle of healing from many failures a the end of this year) and it may seem that there are no lessons to learn, or none you see right away, be patient and know you will now not make the same mistake and create a plan to implement a better outcome in the future.

If you are struggling with how to deal with failure or wanting to grow your career or business, this book is a great start. Click on the image above and start reading. The author was great at story telling as well as giving real, useful tips on how to make real change in your life. You may want a fixed mortgage rate but you do not want a fixed mindset.

On top of that please take advantage of the free webinar by clicking this image/link and don’t forget to follow this blog for easier access to updates and info that I hope will push all of us to succeed and serve.


A Great Epitaph

Andrew Carnegie once said, “I wisht to have as my epitaph: Here lies a man who was wise enough to bring into his service men who knew more than he.'” 

So important in today’s world with technological changes moving at warp speed.