Category Archives: Mindful

We gather strength as we go

Having a conversation with my daughter about how she and her friends treat one another can be such a challenge. Middle school girls are almost impossible to deal with. Typically involves crying and me taking a lot of deep breaths before I speak and offer any kind of wisdom 

High school and mean girls was my living hell. What I know know is that none of it mattered except how those interactions formed my personal level of confidence and self worth. 

My mom worked a ton and my Dad was away for work a great deal. So I floundered and made grave mistakes. 

Today I try to express to my kids this when they are facing mean girls or overly competitive boys talking smack: “transform fear into prudence , pain into transformation, mistakes into initiation, and desire into undertaking.” Nassim NTaleb

These are things we practice all our lives and may never achieve perfection. We can certainly become better people than we are currently. That’s all I want my daughter to know as she goes back to the lunch table and faces off with snarky comments. I told her to not back down and don’t lash out. Stay positive and smile. Stoics had a great idea. We all need to practice the philosophy more and be kind to one another. 

To be good you may need to look good


I think we feel better when we look better any way. The point I want to make to you is that you need to take your success, your level of play seriously. You need to take seriously how you portray your image to everyone. Its fine  to say you don’t care what any one thinks of you and really you shouldn’t especially if you know you are putting forth your best effort.

The idea that I want you to grasp on to is that if you value yourself worth so will others. When you wake up in the morning and you look in the mirror and say I dont feel like shaving, putting on any make-up, combing my hair, really I dont feel like putting any effort into myself, then how do you expect anyone else to put any effort into you either.


It’s funny, if I am sick I typically put more effort into my appearance and I feel a little better. I find when I show up to work, even if it’s in my back yard, I have a  dress and nice shoes on, I perform better, I get more done. Seriously if you think about it, you never know who you are going to run into at Publix or the gas station. The last thing you want to do is be in your Walmart sweatpants and end up pumping gas next to Mrs Rockefeller who you just gave a $10,000 proposal to. What will she think? She may think she’s not sure she hired the right person.


On the  other end of the spectrum, dont over do it. dressing like a hoochie mama sends all the wrong messages. When you dress like a hooch it shows you value your sexuality more than your ability to produce good work. Unless that’s what your selling, sex, then dont dress like a hooker please. Skirts no more than 4″ above your knee, absolutely no platform any kind  of shoe, no boobs popping out.


Take pride in your appearance, that’s the easiest place to start. Get a hair cut, shave daily, get some new shoes, please!!! Your professional appearance sets a tone for your day, for your attitude and for your path in life. I always say act as if you were already successful in your career, I mean dress like it too, its a great place to start going better places.

The Simplest Way to Take Control of Your Life 

“99% of all failures come from people who have a habit of making excuses” George Washington Carver 

The simplest way to take control of your life is to take responsibility for everything that happens to you. 

If you find yourself saying things along the lines of “Bob is always getting the good projects at work and my boss never gives them to me.” You are making excuses for your own behavior. Turn your language around. “What can I do to show my boss I deserve the best projects, how can I earn his respect…” 

The reality is no one is doing anything to you . This is only your own perception. Take control of your life. I would challenge you to change Any statement you make to blame someone else to blaming yourself. 

I can’t loose weight because my wife brings home junk food from the store. (Excuse and blame)

I am doing the grocery shopping at least once a month and buying healthy snacks.  (Taking ownership and responsibility)

Wasn’t that simple? I can tell you simple is not always easy. Practice practice practice the language you use. Stop yourself and make the correction on the spot. 

When defining success make sure your ladder is leaning against the right building

When defining success make sure your ladder is leaning against the right building
Brene Brown

This goes back to having practiced writing down your goals and being clear on what you really want out of your life.

Be in the practice of evaluating what you spend your time and money on. It is going toward what your biggest goal is?

I’m terrible at this most of the time, simply because I get decision weary, tired and hungry with running our design firm full time, 2 kids and a husband and I have a life I enjoy leading as well. This blog for instance takes time and effort to write and build.

What is at the top of my building is freedom, time and financial and creating a way to serve others.

I say to be in practice because I don’t know a single person who is perfect at getting what they want the first time around. I believe we have to practice at being better people. Part of that is to reevaluate what building our ladder is leaning against.


A Great Epitaph

Andrew Carnegie once said, “I wisht to have as my epitaph: Here lies a man who was wise enough to bring into his service men who knew more than he.'” 

So important in today’s world with technological changes moving at warp speed.

Is Success About Learning? Or Are You Already Just That Good?

“Benjamin Barber …. once said,”I don’t divide the world into the weak and the strong, or the successes and failures…. I divide the world into learners and non learners.”

I for one like to hire and work with people who are teachable. I always want to be a student. There is always some one out there that knows more than me.



Worry free Monday. HA! I’ll give it a shot…

Still reading “the mind connection…” By Meyer. We just need reminders of who we want to be, who we think our higher power wants us to be and who we should be for our children and our neighbors.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. Matthew 11:28 to 30

Come to Jesus, talk openly with him about the way you were feeling, and ask him to reveal to you the changes you need to make in order to begin to heal.”

And I would add here talk to your source and ask him to reveal all of the answers to your questions. You have to be quiet and listen. You will recognize the difference between the harried crazy voice of your pride and the calm true voice of your source.

“they say that only a fool thinks he can keep doing the same thing and get a different result. Prayer doesn’t always result in a miraculous delivery from our problems. More often, it results in God giving us wisdom and revealing what we need to do to affect positive change.”

Looking at Monday of a busy week with lots of meetings. There will be lots of prayer in the car on the way.