We gather strength as we go

Having a conversation with my daughter about how she and her friends treat one another can be such a challenge. Middle school girls are almost impossible to deal with. Typically involves crying and me taking a lot of deep breaths before I speak and offer any kind of wisdom 

High school and mean girls was my living hell. What I know know is that none of it mattered except how those interactions formed my personal level of confidence and self worth. 

My mom worked a ton and my Dad was away for work a great deal. So I floundered and made grave mistakes. 

Today I try to express to my kids this when they are facing mean girls or overly competitive boys talking smack: “transform fear into prudence , pain into transformation, mistakes into initiation, and desire into undertaking.” Nassim NTaleb

These are things we practice all our lives and may never achieve perfection. We can certainly become better people than we are currently. That’s all I want my daughter to know as she goes back to the lunch table and faces off with snarky comments. I told her to not back down and don’t lash out. Stay positive and smile. Stoics had a great idea. We all need to practice the philosophy more and be kind to one another. 

Under the comb the tangle and the straight path are the same.   -Heraclitus

Reading “the obstacle is the way”, validating what I already believe. We can run from our problems, if we don’t see a way around them, then it is best embrace our situation and we find a way through them. 

“Amateurs sit and wait for inspiration, the rest of us get up and go to work” Stephen King

Uninspired days seem to be the longest for sure. 

I am working through a Best Self Journal. Found it online wasting time on Instagram. Go figure. 

It’s a guide to set up goals and 13 week schedule to work on them. I mostly like it because it gives me a level of accountability. 

You set priorities for each day and at the end of the day you are accountable for how much you achieved. They encourage you to think positively. I like this because so much of my job is stressful and pretty high pressure. 

Setting goals is key and going to work to get what needs to be done to attain those goals is a primary function. 

10 Best Mom Hacks to Elevate your Business and Your Life

  1. Get help. Make sure you can get help any way you can. If you cant afford much, find an intern, use a family member. I could not have had babies without help from my “village”. Today I have an assistant, a house cleaner and I have my groceries delivered. My kids are old enough they have taken over a ton of the household chores. Next on my list is to get a few meals a week delivered.
  2. Plan your day down to the minute if you have to and practice self discipline. Follow your regimen carefully and you will get more done than you thought imaginable. My husband laughs when he sees my schedule and thinks its rediculous, and then occasionally he will comment, “I don’t know how you do it all!”. No shit Sherlock, I schedule it.
  3. Meal prep is key. Since I haven’t gone to having meals delivered, I try to spend Sunday planning meals for the week. Its amazing how much time we spend just trying to figure things out, planning ahead is the best way to save your mental energy.
  4. Saying NO is so powerful. just say no to PTA, to things that don’t align with your greater plan, don’t care what people think of you.
  5. Having a life strategy or a bigger goal to align smaller daily decision with helps a ton. I do this once a year and put it on an index card and keep it in my little schedule book.
  6. Delegate as much as possible the small tasks, to kids, husbands, family or hire someone.
  7. Don’t work weekends, recharge your mind, setting boundaries for others. I have seen this gain respect and clients now value my time more because of those boundaries.
  8. Exercise! If our energy is  in  a jar, we can make that jar bigger holding more energy if we exercise on a regular basis.
  9. Be sure to prioritize tasks on a daily basis, being able to change or pivot is invaluable. Everything changes, we live on a spinning mass hurtling through space.
  10. Make time for family and fun. I actually schedule this time to be sure I get to it. If you don’t list it it wont happen.

A Self Employed Rant and a Little Jack

Give a Listen Now to What helps me along

I love this blog thing. It will be my next career. My first love in life was reading and writing. I always wanted to be a writer but didn’t know how to make a living at it. I have been told I write good copy, but I never pursued it as a career. Writing for my own blog is such a blessing. Finishing and self publishing my first book was amazing. And being on the cusp of finishing another is more than I dreamed I would ever accomplish.

Life is about layers, getting older, learning more about ourselves. There is still so much I want to do, learn and be better at.

Right now it seems like its more about forgiveness. I need to , we all need to, forgive ourselves for all the things we can’t get to in the now. I have kids and the #struggleisreal. There are just not enough hours in the day to get shit done. My biggest complaint right now is that I have no control of how others choose to live and work and facilitate me getting shit done. That is the most annoying piece of everything.

What I do to take care of my mind in this is to think back to some of my favorite music by #JackJohnson, his lyrics remind us of the life style we live in a beach town, surf community. Surfing is all about living in the now, not the future, or past. Eckert Tolle teaches the same thing. I believe that by living in the now makes it easier for us to live up to God’s potential in us.

Truth be told I have to tell myself these things a hundred times a day. With each phone call, stress builds, demands are made of us, everyone seems to need everything yesterday.

The trick is to feel enough of being blessed and doing something you love that will take you through the 12-14 hour days of drudgery.

One More For Fun … Thank you Jack, see you in St. Augustine!